I was walking with Ray, the owner of the theater, talking about photography. As we walked passed the shiny, steel-plated garbage trucks on the corner, I saw a sign announcing a Beatles record burning event. I said, “The thing is, in my time nobody hates The Beatles. Sure there are some who don’t love them or are unfamiliar with them but nobody hates them. This is like some weird alternate universe.” Then I woke up.
My friends and I had come up with the perfect plan. The only flaw was what to do about the car we were sure would be reported stolen. So we stopped at the gym where all the Star Trek kids were shooting baskets and drinking. We asked around and finally found this Mr. Spock who knew something. I was asking a question when I noticed that he had the same perfume as an old girlfriend. Then I woke up.
I was attending University in China and was out one night eating dinner with friends. I was still looking over the menu when my friends shoved a bowl in my hands and motioned to follow them back to the table. On the way to the table, I ran into two classmates. They asked if I’d like to join them for dinner. I said I was about to sit down with my friends and so I asked them to sit with us. As we were eating I noticed that one of my friends was upset. I could tell by the images he was speaking in. He was trying to make some point that the two women I brought to dinner didn’t like the “right” science fiction shows. This angered me and I leapt up and loudly defended these two interesting and beautiful women.
Later, I was one the young Chinese woman that I had invited to dinner. I had become separated from my girlfriend and I ran in to Leonard Nimoy who had been an ass at dinner. He asked me to come with him and for some reason I did. We walked up the stairs from the subway station to his car. It was a small, eighty-something, two-door Honda. As I got in I noticed that he had saved a half smoked cigarette on the dashboard. We drove around for a bit and he said, “this conversation,” gesturing to the music on the radio, “is happening elsewhere right now.” I said I didn’t understand and he handed me today’s front page. On it was a picture of a car crushed by a tree with the headline, “Pakistani student killed.” That was my girlfriend and I knew that he had something to do with it. I was distraught. I broke down and continued to scream silently until I woke up.
I had a dream about these giant babies. They were the size of buildings and they were roaming the countryside. I thought that was so silly that I wrote in down with a pen and paper when I woke up. Then I woke up for real and realized that I don’t have pen and paper by the bed. I had a dream inside my dream!
I was with some people in a house before dawn. For some reason we all had to hide in water before the sun came up. The women and girls went into the bathroom and the guys were going to set up in the oven. The oven sounded like a shitty idea to me so I asked why we were doing this and was told it was because of the aliens. So I said that was bullshit and grabbed a kitchen knife and went out to kill them. The aliens looked just like regular people but they weren’t hiding in water and when you confronted them they had snake like things that came out of their mouths. It reminded me of the zombies from Resident Evil IV. I killed a whole bunch of these alien zombies. Then I ran into this one who also had a knife. He started cutting my hands as I was swinging at him. It hurt and was making me mad. So I started swinging harder and I woke up stabbing the bed.
I was talking on the phone and walking toward a grocery store when I ran into Sterling, Gertrude and a third person. I don’t know who the third person is. The name Ed comes to mind but I don’t know if that is right. I don’t know an Ed. Anyway, they looked fabulous and I stopped to give them hugs. Then I realized I had my camera with me so I wanted to take a picture of them. But then they put on crazy makeup and ugly costumes and kept trying to make it some action shot where they were popping up from behind a counter. All of the pictures were coming out terrible and now I was going to be late. So I was back on the phone explaining what was going on while they were changing costumes again. Then I woke up.
My earliest memory is just horror and dread. I’m being held, paralyzed on the floor by Lady Elaine. Yes, that Lady Elaine — the creeptastic puppet from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Only she’s not a puppet. She’s a tiny, crazy bitch. And we’re right there in the living room with my parents but they can’t see what’s happening. With every bit of energy I have I’m trying to scream but nothing comes out. I can’t breath, I can’t move and every nerve is on fire because Lady Elaine is force-choking the hell out of me. Then she leans in close, poking her red, bulbous nose at me and showering spittle in my face as she seethes, “If you even think about saying a single word, I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll wish you were dead.” And just like that, I fully enter my body and I can breath again.